


A Few More Hours by Jesse

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has a brain tumor; will he die?  Depends on what ending you want....</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Few More Hours by Jesse

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post to SXF, so be kind. If you're not into

## A Few More Hours

by Jesse

Author's disclaimer: Disclaimer? Please! I can say 'no infringement intended' until I'm blue in the face, but the fact remains that I *have* infringed on someone else's characters. And, oh, what characters they are, yes?! Yummy!!!! Anyway.... enjoy. 

death stories... DON'T READ THIS. However, fear not... there *is* an alternate ending to this story. 

Archivist's Note: This story was posted to the SXF list on June 6, 1997. 

* * *

Jim had just stood up to leave Simon's office when a searing white pain drove through his skull driving him to his knees. He grabbed his head and held it to him folding over with his head to the floor. 

Blair, not too far behind him, fell to his knees trying to cradle his partner. "Jim! Jim! What's wrong? What's happening, man? JIM!!" Jim continued to rock back and forth, moaning. 

Simon went for his phone and barked, "I need a medic in my office, NOW!" He slammed the phone to its cradle and knelt beside his detective placing a hand to Jim's back, rubbing small circles. 

"No, doctors," Jim gritted out before he collapsed into Blair's lap. 

Blair's terrified voice shrilled through Simon's office. "JIIIIIIIMMM!!!" 

* * *

Blair's nervous energy paced the waiting room. He stopped every so often when it looked like a doctor or nurse might walk his way. His shoulders sagged a bit further when they walked by. 

"What the hell happened, Sandburg?" Simon's gruff voice asked Blair for the hundredth time. 

"I dunno," Blair answered for the hundredth time, voice weary. "Everything's been fine, as far as I know. He hasn't complained about any sentinel thing. I don't know what it could be." Blair slumped into a chair next to Banks. 

Just then, a doctor came into the waiting room and looked at the two men. Blair bolted up and charged to the doctor. "How is he?" he demanded. 

Simon followed just as quickly. "What's going on, doctor?" Simon asked only a bit more calmly. 

Taking off his glasses, Dr. McCoy heaved a sigh and directed the men to the chairs."Please, sit down." 

Blair took that as a bad sign and refused to sit. "What the hell is going on here?!" he practically screamed. "Where's Jim? I have to see Jim, now." Blair started for the door. 

Simon grabbed him before he could escape and whispered into his ear. 

Nodding his head in defeat, Blair followed Simon back to the doctor and sat down. 

The doctor looked at the two concerned men and began. "I'm afraid that the tumor has shifted in his brain. I'm sorry." 

"What?!" Simon gasped as he and Blair both stared wide-eyed at the doctor. Color drained from Blair's face. He felt like he was sucker punched. All the air left him and he sagged back against the chair. //Tumor?!// Blair's eyes began to fill. //He didn't say _anything_.// Unable to speak, Blair continued to sit and stare at the space beside the doctor. 

"What are you talking about, Doctor?" Simon asked. "What tumor?" 

The doctor blanched. "He didn't tell you?" Simon shook his head. "Captain, Mr. Ellison was in here about two years ago for tests regarding, well, shall we say, overactive senses." Blair sat up quickly and stared at the doctor. 

//Oh, dear god in heaven, there _was_ something wrong.// Blair thought. //And I just told him he didn't need all this techno-trash. Oh my god, what have I done?!// Blair started hyperventilating and the next thing he knew, his head was shoved between his knees and Simon and the doctor were telling him to take deep, even breaths. 

"Come on, Sandburg, breath. Deep. Easy." 

"Mr. Sandburg, are you okay?" 

Blair lay his forehead on his knees. //Deep, even breaths. Breath, Blair, breath.// Raising his head, Blair's glazed eyes try to focus on the doctor. "No, doc, I'm not okay." Heaving a great sigh, Blair continued, "I have to see him." 

"Of course." Dr. McCoy stood up. 

As they moved down the corridor, Dr. McCoy explained Jim's situation. "As I said, Mr. Ellison was in here a few years ago, but, as I explained to him, there wasn't a medical reason for his complaints. However, after reviewing his tests further, I _did_ find a small brain tumor. Unfortunately, it was in an area that was inoperable. I suggested radiation, but Mr. Ellison refused. I also suggested prescription pills, but those were refused, as well. Now, I'm afraid that not only has the tumor grown over the past two years, but it has shifted putting pressure on several neural connectors. In short, I'm afraid Mr. Ellison doesn't have much longer. I'm sorry." The last was said as they reached the door to Jim's room. 

"How much is 'not much longer'?" Simon asked for both he and Blair. 

Looking from Banks to the younger man, the doctor replied, "A week, probably less. I'm sorry." 

Blair looked on the verge of collapse. He leaned heavily on the wall, tears silently falling down his cheeks. He turned so he faced the wall and rested his forehead on the cool surface, squeezing his eyes shut. //What have I done? What I have done?// He silently chanted while lightly banging his head against the wall. 

Simon pulled him away, hugging his shoulder. Addressing the doctor, he asked, "Can we see him now?" 

"Of course." Dr. McCoy pushed the door open to Jim's room and Blair and Simon caught their first sight of Jim since he'd been brought in hours ago. 

Jim lay on the bed almost as pale at the sheets surrounding him. Every machine known to keep a person alive seemed to be in the room. Most, thankfully weren't hooked up to Jim. Yet. His even breathing showed that he was asleep. 

Simon steered Blair to a chair beside Jim's bed and sat him down. Finding another chair across the room, Simon retrieved it and brought it over to the other side of Jim's bed and sat down. 

Simon looked down at his best detective. He'd never dreamed in a hundred years that he would ever see Jim look like this... so vulnerable, so helpless. Jim was not the kind of man something like this happened to and yet... Yet, here he was sitting by helplessly while his best detective and good friend lay dying at his side. 

"Jim?" Simon asked quietly. "Hey, Ellison, can you hear me?" Nothing. Simon took Jim's hand in his. He opened his mouth, but clamped it shut on the words about to pour forth.//Yeah, right Banks, what are you going to say? 'Everything's going to be all right?' Well, not this time around.// He looked over to Blair. 

Blair sat staring at his friend. Both his hands clamped around Jim's. Blair didn't move. It almost looked as though he weren't even breathing. Tears streaking his face. "Jim, why?" Blair whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?" Blair lay his head on Jim's chest. "Why didn't you say anything?" The emotions overwhelmed him and his sobs shook him as he continued to whisper 'why' over and over. 

A few hours later, Blair had managed to cry himself to sleep. His head still resting on Jim's chest. Simon still sat vigil by Jim's side quietly going over their lives as friends. 

"Simon?" Jim's voice was faint, but it effectively interrupted Simon's litany. 

"Jim?" Simon squeezed his hand. "How're you doing?" 

Jim gave him a small smile. "Not bad, considering." He looked down at Blair asleep on his chest and a sad expression crossed his face. "I didn't--," he began. "I thought--" 

"You didn't realize the kid would mean so much to you when the time came," Simon finished for him. 

"Yeah." 

After a moment of silence, Simon asked, "Why didn't you tell us, Jim?" 

"I didn't want to worry you." 

"You didn't want...?" Simon stood, righteous anger pouring off of him. 

"Simon, tell me you wouldn't have treated me any differently if you knew two years ago that I was dying." 

"I--" Simon stood with his mouth open, but nothing else came out except a heavy sigh."You're right." He sagged back into his chair. "You're right. I wouldn't have put you on half of those cases if I'd known." 

"See?" 

"But, Jim..." 

"Simon, there's nothing they can do." Jim's eyes fell closed. The talking was wearing him out. 

Moving his hand over Jim's forehead, Simon whispered, "Rest now, Jim. Get some sleep." 

When next Jim woke, Simon had left the room, but Blair was still exactly where he was before; lying on Jim's chest. However, this time, Blair was the one quietly going over their friendship. 

"...in the world. I don't think I've ever had a best friend before. Naomi kept us moving so much, I never had the opportunity to be somewhere long enough to make a best friend." Blair stopped to catch his breath lest he start to cry again. "I love you, Jim." And with that came the tears. The unending flow that started this morning when his entire life ended. 

Jim brought his free hand up and began stroking Blair's long curls. Blair didn't move to acknowledge Jim, he only cried harder, one hand clutching Jim's hospital shirt tighter. "I love you, too, Chief." 

Blair's sobs strengthened and he crawled up into Jim's lap like a child, face still pressed into Jim's chest. 

Through his tears, Blair begged. "Please don't die, Jim. Please don't leave me. Please." Hot tears scorched Jim's chest and Jim found himself crying, too. 

God, if he would have only known how much Blair would come to mean to him, he would have endured the radiation and the pills just to have a few more weeks, days, hours with his love. Now, it was too late. "Shhh, baby, shhh. It's okay." 

Wrong thing to say. Blair sat up, tear streaks marring his angry face. "Okay? OKAY?! No. It's not OKAY, dammit. It's not okay." Blair crumpled in on himself, collapsing on Jim's chest. Mumbling into Jim's shirt, Blair repeated, "It's not okay." 

"'M sorry, Chief." Jim stroked Blair's head again. 

Blair nodded his head against Jim. "I know." 

They lay silent for a few minutes as Blair tried to get his ragged breathing under control. Jim's hand stilled and Blair settled down against Jim to sleep himself. Blair soon realized, however, that Jim's chest wasn't moving, nor could he hear his friend's heartbeat. Looking up at Jim's face, Blair knew Jim was gone. 

"NOOOOO!!!" Blair screamed grabbing Jim's shirt in his fists and shaking him. His scream brought Simon and the doctor and a few nurses into the room. "NO, DAMMIT!! Jim, no." Blair's head fell against Jim's body. "Please, Jim, don't leave me. Please, don't go. I need you." Blair looked up at Jim. "I NEED YOU, DAMMIT!!" 

A hand reached for him and Blair shook it off. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yelled. "Jim. C'mon, Jim. Don't do this to me, man. Jim. Don't you dare quit on me, Jim. C'MON!!" The hand on his shoulder was becoming insistent, yet he still managed to jerk away. "Jim, please." 

"Come on, Blair, he's gone." Simon tried to pull Blair away. 

"NO! Jiiimm." Blair sounded like a child trying to get his way. 

"Come on Blair. Let go." 

"Nooooooo." Blair lay down on Jim, begging him to wake up. "Please, Jim, please." 

* * *

"Detail! Atten-hut! Ready! Aim! Fire!" The voice rang out over the bagpipes. Simon stood in full dress uniform, Blair by his side in black. The gravesite was crowded with police officers from every department. Once the rifles were fired and the music stopped, four uniformed men approached the casket, each taking one end of the flag that draped the coffin. With military precision, the flag was folded into a neat triangle. The last officer stood in front of Blair holding the flag, one palm below the flag, the other palm on top. He extended the flag and presented it to Blair. Blair looked up at the man before him and looked at the flag. Slowly, he took the flag from the man, who saluted him, and clutched the folded fabric to his chest. The moment was followed by silence. Then, slowly, one by one, the officers began to leave the cemetery, murmuring to each other. Many approached Blair to offer their condolences. After the first few weren't acknowledged, Simon shooed the rest away until the only ones left were he and Blair. 

"Blair? Let me take you home." 

Sad eyes looked up at the captain. "Can I have a few minutes, Simon?" 

Simon gave him a sad smile and moved away, giving Blair the time he needed alone. 

"Jim?" Blair moved closer to the casket. "I know wherever you are, you can hear me." The tears that never seemed to quit since this all started began again to trickle down his face unnoticed. "I miss you, babe." Blair sniffed and rubbed a hand across the dark surface of the wood. "I wish... I wish we would have had more time together. I wouldn't have put off telling you how much I loved you if I had known. But..." He sniffed again, tears falling onto the flag he held so tightly. "I'm glad you knew, before... I'm glad you know." Pause. "I love you," he whispered. "Goodbye." 

finis 

* * *

alternate ending: 

A hand reached for him and Blair shook it off. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yelled. "Jim. C'mon, Jim. Don't do this to me, man. Jim. Don't you dare quit on me, Jim. C'MON!!" The hand on his shoulder was becoming insistant, yet he still managed to jerk away. "Jim, please." 

"Blair!!!" 

Blair's eyes flew open and wild blue eyes regarded Jim lying beneath him. "Jim?" 

Jim's own blue eyes were filled with concern as he watched his lover. "Blair...?" 

"Oh my god, Jim." Blair fell down on his partner and grabbed him in a hug tight enough to crack ribs. "Oh my god, Jim. I thought-- I dreamt you-- Oh god." Blair's hug grew tighter as he gulped more air into his lungs. 

"Hey, hey, Chief," Jim soothed. "It's okay. I'm okay. Shhh, now." 

"Oh god, Jim," Blair breathed. Sitting up stradling the older man, Blair took Jim's shirt in both hands and shook him. "Don't. You. Ever. Do. That. Again. You hear me?!" 

A small grin spread across Jim's face. "Sure, Chief. I won't die in your dreams again. I'll do it for real, next time." A slap across his face wiped the grin off Jim's face. 

"That is not even funny, man." 

"I'm sorry, Chief." Jim began to rub the red spot on his face. 

Blair's hand replaced Jim's and he rubbed the sting from Jim's cheek, caressing softly. "'m sorry, Jim. It's just that..." 

"Shhh, 's okay, now. I shouldn't have said that. I'm the one who's sorry." Blair lay back down on Jim and Jim wrapped both arms tightly around his lover. "That's some dream you had there, Chief." 

"God, it was a nightmare, Jim." 

"You want to talk about it?" 

"Not right now, lover. I'm too tired." 

"Okay," Jim said tipping them both to their sides. His arms still wrapped solidly around Blair. Jim grabbed the blankets and covered them. "I love you, Chief." 

Snuggling impossibly closer to Jim, Blair mumbled, "I love you, too." Looking up to his lover, Blair said, "Don't leave me, Jim. Ever." 

"Never, baby." And they both fell asleep in each others arms. 

finis 

* * *

End A Few More Hours. 


End file.
